Placing an Order for Soulmate

“What do I have to do to get a soul mate?” I inquired on reaching the reception.

“Contact our sales department, Sir!” And the lovely lady pointed me in that direction.

I had heard of this service but never had the courage to use it before.

They helped my friend find his soul mate, so I was pretty sure.

“What all would you like in your soul mate to be, Sir?” The amiable sales guy asked me.

“Sorry for the next question but its standard procedure. Would you like a he or a she?”

A little offended by his query, I said, “Thank you very much but a girl is all I want.”

“Very well. Just place your order then and let me see if you can get a grant.”

“Feel free to mention everything you desire. Don’t hesitate, okay?”

And for a moment I was blank, just realizing the importance of what I was about to say.

“Okay, decent looking would do but yeah, her smile should be like no one has ever seen.

She must be original, someone like no one has ever been.”

I thought I was sounding stupid so I tried to read the reactions of the sales guy.

Then it came to me he sells soul mates for a living, I can never be stupider, how hard may I try.

So I went on. “Mysterious is the new sexy, they say, so add a tinge of mystery too.

And it goes without saying, she should be caring and to me she should be true.”

“Whenever I am with her I should be ecstatic, I should have a blast.

I may not be her first, but I do wanna be her last.”

“Will that be all, sir?” The smiling sales guy asked me.

“I have just started, man! It’s a long list, you will see.”

“Don’t forget to add sense of humor. It’s what would set her apart.

She must have an attitude that intrigues me from the start.

I won’t mind if she can’t paint or write or dance or sing.

But she must be the motivation of artists, electrifying and inspiring.

I don’t care if she has baggage, I don’t care if she has a past.

Like I said, I don’t wanna be her first, I wanna be her last.”

The sales guy interrupted me. “I think I have had enough. I will see if you can get the grant.”

“No. No. No. Wait. I am not done. There’s something else that I want.”

“Well, I am not a racist so don’t bother with the color, but charming she must be.

And of course, add all the qualities that are mentioned in your brochure under “Complementary”.

“Her aroma must be angelic and yes, her hair must be long.

She should be as deep as a poem and as soothing as a song.”

“Most importantly make her hard to impress so that only I could flatter her.

“And I think that will be all.” To which, with a sigh of relief he said, “Thank you very much sir.”

He left his seat and ten minutes later came back happier. “Congratulations sir, you have got the grant.”

“Does that mean I will have a soul mate now and she will have all the mentioned qualities that I want?”

“That’s exactly what it means.” Happy now, I got up to leave but I asked him, “Do you have a name for her too?”

“Call her whatever you like. To us she will be Soul mate no. 4582.”